After first week at institute, I thought about reporting my progress, my mental and physical well-being etc. So many things happening at once, I didn't even get a chance to visit this website. Now it has been 2 weeks, with one week of officially teaching, I decided to finally record all that has happened as much as possible.
They told us that institue was going to be hard, and no one believed them. With a daily schedule of: waking up at 5AM, getting on the bus at 6:30-6:45, starting your day in the school at 7:10-7:20, ending every day at 4:00, returning back to dorm and continue working on lesson plans until the wee hours into the night, many of us are breaking down from the pressure and stress.
Davis High School is a nice place for the kids, despite the shanty and run-down conditions of the neighborhood that surrounds it. Everyday, you forget what environment you are working with because you are inside this giant bubble. Only on my way home do I realize the reality of the world outside. I have officially been teaching for a week now. It's quite exciting going to class everyday facing my 9 students (1 student seem to have officially dropped out because of family conditions). It is not exciting to go back to my room, writing up lesson plans for the next 2 or 3 days.
All my students are brilliant, they just don't fully realize it. After a week of introducing contents, I truly think they can master the first half of the questions on the test already, especially when they have already see the materials before. With an average of 5 hours of sleep every night, there are definitely times when I feel like a zombie in the classroom, my mind a completely blank slate when I stand in front of my students. Everyday, I realize I'm doing something unsatisfactory, either not delivering my content clearly, giving out poor instructions, not finishing up the guided, and consequently independent, practices on time, etc. My biggest goal for this past week is to get organized and to keep a track of all students' formative assessments, something for some reason, I had not done before. By Friday, I was very organized, and was able to check for tardiness, preparation and homework. Next week, my goal is to follow my lesson plan! Sounds simple, but when I'm in the classroom, I want to make sure everyone understands the material, and it is very difficult when everyone is on a different level. I am finding myself pushing back content material because at the opening of each lesson, I focus so much on review, a result of rushing through practice the lesson before. Although, we are not in any way behind my calendar schedule, but I hope to be on track by the end of the week. Next Thursday, I'm planning for a mid-summer assessment/exam, also a chance to review all the material and catch up.
After this past week, people are already leaving the institute, which is a huge decision that must have taken them a long time to think out. One good friend left too, and it was very disheartening and discouraging to hear, and definitely makes me begin to doubt my own ability as a teacher. It has been a lonely few days even though I don't see him very often around Moody Towers and in school because we teach different subjects, but his departure has left me thinking about a lot of things. I know that whatever decision people choose is one that makes them happier. There is no such thing as a right or wrong decision, it simply means that we are a different track in life, a way which will take you somewhere else than you initially planned. Which is OK, and I am fine with that. "Quitting" is such a negative idea, as if not doing Teach for America is the wrong choice, but it really isn't that way. I am confident that I can continue and the same for the rest of our New Mexico corps and the rest of our CMA group, and I know that whatever happens at the end is the choice that will all of us happy. All we need along the way, is a little perspective. Why am I here for the summer? My reasons: Joel, Danny, Cariyell, Jeannette, Gustavo, Azahel, Christopher, Efrain, and Rene.
Two weeks down, three more to go before heading back to the land of enchantment.
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